- June 12, 2005
- June 14, 2005
- June 15, 2005
- June 19, 2005
- June 23, 2005
- June 25, 2005
- June 30, 2005
I Am Not As Interesting As People
First, the phenomenon...People lead interesting and exciting lives. In the most mundane of tasks on the most mundane of days, the most mundane of people will have one of those moments where something astonishing happens. The kind of thing where one just steps back and goes, "Wow, that is amazing/exciting/interesting/astounding!" Some funny moment, some inspiring thought, some fantastic conversation...just something completely not-mundane.
Second, my revelation...I am not as interesting as people. Even then I have one of those sparkling little wonders called a Life, my most fantastic adventures are nothing more than mundane stories of possibly higher interest than that tale of washing your hair or brushing your teeth. Hands down, the most exciting moment or astounding revelation I have had to date would be this one, which isn't even all that amazing (thus proving my point).
Now, I know what you are saying. "You make your own excitement. You have to go out their and grab life by the neck and shake it until something falls out." But even when I do try to have exciting wonderful moments, they end up paling in comparison to those I read about. And when you try too hard, things just end up more meaningless. "You have to see the truth in your actions and stop living vicariously through the actions of others." But as I examine these actions, the quirkiness and excitement are not there like in the tales of others. And if I don't read others' words for excitement, how will I know when something exciting happens to ME?
Maybe I'm just mental ill and self-deprecating. Or maybe I really am the least-interesting person to grace the expanded multiverse. Who knows, and more importantly, who cares? *shrug*
~~Samm is the Truth, the Knowledge, the Power, and the Way. Or just someone who is bored and fancies himself something fantastic.
The Art Of Degrading Your High School Classmates
~~Samm, Because I Said So
My Eye Is Throbbing
~~Samm is my hero.
If I Set Myself On Fire, Would I Be A Flamer?
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know.
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know.
9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11.Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.
20. If you post this on your blog would you like me to answer it?
Would YOU:
Give me your number?
Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
Let me take you out to dinner?
Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
Take a shower with me?
Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
Buy me a drink (a coke or something) if i didn't have money?
Take me home for the night?
Would you let me sleep in your bed?
Sing car karaoke with me?
Sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
Give me a piggyback ride?
Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
Everything I Do, I Do For You
I love you, those who read this. ~~Samm E Cason Jr
I Do Not Fear Death
I find it harder to wake up each day, knowing nothing awaits me but a day of internet and television. The banality of it is likely to drive me insane. "But Samm, why don't you go out and do stuff?" I live in the middle of nowhere, I don't drive, I don't like driving, and the last 3 times I tried to pass my driving test I got so tense and nervous I failed (once almost flipping the car). And there is nowhere to go in Sallisaw anyways. I could go hang out at the Wal*Mart, whoop-de-fucking-doo. I slept 12 hours today, and still I feel tired and bored and lonely. This place is killing me, like it has tried to so many times before. It creeps up on me slowly, like a cat on an unsuspecting mouse. I fear that I will die if I do not leave, but I have nowhere to go.
I want to lock myself in my room, and do nothing but sleep and eat. No computer and no television to give me hope, to let me glimpse the lives and loves of those both real and fictional. That is a world I can not have, why must I torture myself by looking in upon it?
If I knew I could do it without fucking it up, like everything else in my life, I would do so and end the anticipation of everyone in my life.
Depression sucks, and so do you, with your bright and sparkly lives. ~~Samm E Cason Jr
I Could Love You If You Would Love Me
If you can read that, it probably doesn't make sense, but I love playing with Babelfish translator none-the-less. I've been playing Google Seppuku, but I can't lose. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, or I just can't combine the right symbols. Then again, there are also few things can gross me out. But still, I've been getting pictures of pets and road maps and landscapes. What the fuck? Exactly. One of my earliest combinations though got me the term "Middle Ages". 中世 I was rather suprised. Other words I have gotten: shoes, consequence. I'm sure there were more, but I can't remember them at this point.
I always find cool things to listen to on my WinAmp. With something like 6800 tracks, I always find a hidden gem or something I didn't know I had. This morning, I rediscoveredAlien by Orange 9mm. And I love that Numa Numa song that kid danced too. And Under the Milky Way Tonight by The Church. I discovered that song watching Donnie Darko(great fuckin' movie). If you watch it, it's the song after Donnie and Gretchen come down from his room during the Halloween party. It's a rather...I can't think of a word really...gothic? Kinda I guess. But it always reminds me of that scene in Donnie, about the only one where both Donnie and Gretchen are truly happy and are in love, and it envokes in me a sense of, well, contentment and love.
Another song I'm really into currently is Summerholiday vs. Punkroutine by Refused. I'm really loving this song. "I'd rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in." Shit you can groove too.
My eyes are starting to water, which means I am growing tired and should sleep. First I have to go dig out a book to read to help me sleep. I want to play Magic, like back in the old days. And I want to be back at the Chesire Cat and playing some good ol'Dungeons & Dragons with the old group. But we must not live in the past, but rather take care of our present. But do not look to the future, or you will miss what is in front of you now. I wish happiness and love on all.
私を傷つけ、これのために死ぬ。
~~In a future life, you will meet a Samm and remember back to this moment, when you had your chance, and wasted it through inaction.
And there we go. The better half of June, 2005. And fancy formatting with bolding and italicising and what have you. And jiffy titles.
~~And even jiffier Samm endings.
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