I Saw A Video, That Is Why

I do not believe in marriage. And here is why.

In our advanced, modern society, the only point for marriage is the legal ramifications. Tax breaks, health/life insurance benefits, etc.. First, I will go through some of the common arguments for marriage, tell you why I think about them, then afterward follow up with some more thoughts.

"I am getting married because I am in love and want to spend my life with my partner.""I am getting married so that I am in a COMMITTED relationship."

I am grouping these two together since they are so closely related. Now, marriage for love is admirable, but that doesn't explain WHY you need to be married. People, at least mature peoples, are able to have committed relationships without the need of a 'marriage'. And marriage does not preclude infidelity. If a person is going to sleep around, a signature on a piece of paper isn't going to prevent that. You can dedicate your life to a person and a single relationship and be happy in it and about it without needing to be 'legally married'. It is like saying you can't eat a salad without ranch. It is just dressing.

"I am getting married so that I have a proper family/to raise a family correctly."
This is just bullshit. You don't have to be married to raise kids properly, or to have a proper family. And what is a proper family, anyways? One defined by antiquated notions of stereotypical relationship units? Just because you are married to someone does not automatically make your household better to raise children in. It is how the people you are raised around are taught and treated, how affection is expressed, how supportive the unit is. If you grow up in an abusive household with parents that hate each other, does that mean you are going to be a better person than if raised by a single parent alone? Of course not.

"I am getting married because I want to sex up my partner."
"I am getting married because my religion says I should."
*sigh* If you know me, or have read any post prior to this, you should know my stance on religion, but in case you don't.... Religion is the biggest fucking joke ever. It is government with a supernatural backing. It is a way to control people. And this is a good example. How is getting married to have sex any better than just having sex? Wonder why the divorce rate is 50% in the USA right now? Because PEOPLE WANT TO BONE, and then once they are married and have lived with a person for awhile, oops, it turns out they are wrong for each other! Now, I'm not saying the ONLY reason for divorce is this, but there is a decent percentage I am sure, because we live in a society that teaches abstinence and how it is "wrong" to sleep with someone before putting a ring on their finger. And as for what religion says? Have you ever read your holy book? In this case I am going to talk mostly about Xtianity, as I am most familiar with it and it is a big factor in the USA currently. The Xtian scripture is a convoluted work of fiction. It can't even decide on what marriage is! Is it between a man and a woman? It says that in there, yes. But it also says things about polygyny and concubines and all sorts of stupid things. Yes, concubines. The Xtian bible doesn't even promote monogamy! Except when it does. And I don't want to go into it, but the whole argument about picking and choosing what you follow in it, blah blah blah. And Islam isn't much better. There is a practice, probably not very wide-spread as it once was, but it is called nikah al-mut'ah. What is nikah al-mut'ah, you ask? Temporary marriage. Yes, you heard me, temporary marriage. Since it is bad and wrong to have sex while not married, they have a procedure where you get married with a timed contract, as short as half-an-hour, at which point the contract is up and you are no longer married. Oh, and you still pay a dowry. How convenient! You pay a woman to be temporarily married to her so you can have sex with her, then when you are finished, you can just pull up your drawers and go about your merry business. It is legalised Islamic prostitution, if you didn't get my point.

"I am getting married because it is tradition!"
Tradition, shmradition. Do you know the reason behind this tradition? Think about to when marriage came about. Dark, ancient, IGNORANT times. Times when men ruled the world. Note, I said 'men', not 'man'. Not mankind, but the male of the species. So think about it for a moment. Men said who they married and it often happened whether the female said yes or not. If she was allowed to say anything, that is. Marriage in the tradition is nothing more than slavery. A man claiming a woman as property. By marrying her, he is saying, "This one is mine, no one else can touch her." Think back to many of the marriage traditions that we have given up in modern times, like a dowry and bride price. Bride price, a common tradition in the past, was, hold onto your hats, what the man paid the family of the bride to marry her. A dowry is what the bride's family paid him to marry here. "Here is three goats and an acre of land for your daughter. Thanks." "Here, take the wench off our hands, and have a pig and a couple head of cattle while you are at it." The tradition of marriage is a patriarchal tradition of female slavery.

"I am getting married so that I can share governmental/legal benefits with my partner."
Now you are doing it right.

I do not believe in marriage. I do believe in loving people, and being committed to people, and treating those people with care and respect. And I believe that can be achieved without a piece of paper that says we are together. Will I ever get married? If I find someone that I love and want to take care of and give benefits like tax breaks and sharing in health care and life insurance, then sure. But I won't get married because of antiquated ideals and societally forced "morals".